The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…

Why are spiders so good at the internet? They know all the good web sites. Why do programmers never run the AC? They prefer to open windows. What do computers do on a beach vacation? Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus? It was a terminal illness. Why can’t an IT guy keep a girlfriend? He turns them all off and on. Jun 20, 2019 Gambling Jokes. Weather we’re winning or losing, we all have some anecdotes or funny gambling stories to share. This time around, we’ve decided to look for the most hilarious gambling jokes and casino puns, so these are the best gambling anecdotes that we’ve come across. Gamblers like to win at slots and table games, but they also like a good laugh. Here are some of the best gambling jokes and hilarious puns!

I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.

Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.

How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.

I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.

Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.

Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.

I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.

I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.

Good Gambling Puns Funny

I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.

I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.

Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?

A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.

Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.

Last week’s snooker jokes are here.

If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.

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Geology is considered a boring and dry field and the same concepts are about the geologists. The people consider them very boring and do not like to sit with them. The picture is not as it seems to be. The geologists are also very pleasant by nature. It is the nature of their subject that makes them grave-looking people. They also cut jokes and puns with their relatives and loved ones. Here, I am going to list a few best puns and jokes related to geology. You can enjoy sending them to your loved ones related to Geology. It will amuse them too.

Geology Puns

Puns are basically the words with double meaning. It can explain the surface meaning something else and the inner meaning something different. There are very interesting puns for geologists you can use to amuse them. These puns convey interesting message besides a straight surface meaning.

“Don’t Expect

Perfection

From Geologists

They All Have

Their Faults”

Why Wasn’t the Geologist Hungry?

Because! They Lost Their Appetite

“If Something is Gneiss, Don’t take it for Granite.”

One Tectonic Plate Bumped into another

And said….

“Sorry. My Fault.”

Geophysicists are the biggest hipsters

Everything they deal with is

Underground

“What did other rocks call the sandstone who thinks it’s a volcanic rock?

A siliclastic”

Why aren’t the tectonic plates allowed in the mattress store?

Because they make the bedrock……

Dear,

I hope you would like to study the volcano of love rising inside my heart.

Mention a book that made you cry?

Optical Mineralogy….

Sam: Did you hear the one about the geologist?

George: Yes! he took his wife for granite so she left him

Geology Teacher (to his student): What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?

Student (Innocently): SWAG

What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?

I Lava You!

Why did the geologist take his girlfriend to the quarry?

It’s very simple, he wanted to get a little boulder.

Geology Student to another: How did you drown?

Other Student: My grades were below C-level

Teacher: What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?

Student: A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.

Watson: Holmes! What kind of rock is this!

Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

Geology Teacher: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

Student: H2O cubed.

Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?

Yes, he just couldn’t put it down.

George: What happens when someone throws a rock at you?

William: I hit Rock’s Bottom.

Geologist (to his son): What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?

Son: “Au revoir”

Nick: What did the geologist say when his doctor asked him if he was ready for his colonic?

Jones: No FRACKING way!!!

Geology teacher (to his class): What do you do with a dead geologist?

Class: Barium

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel, and iron?

A KNiFe.

Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?

Because they get hammered and stoned.

Geology Jokes

Jokes can make your time more pleasant while you are enjoying the company of your best friends. It can make your time more memorable if you are cutting the jokes relevant to the time and the person. While enjoying the company of your geologist friends, you can cut some beautiful jokes relevant to their profession. See below a list of interesting jokes and enjoy a memorable time.

Q: What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?

A: Coca-Cola Clastic

Q: Why do Earth Science professors like to teach about ammonia?

A: Because it’s basic material.

Q: What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse?

A: HIO Ag!

The relationship of lovers is like tectonic plates.

It breaks up

When the friction between two plates

Increases

Q: If H20 is water what is H204?

A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming.

Q: According to a geologist, why is the world so diverse?

A: Because it’s made up of alkynes of people.

Q: What do geologists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

Good Gambling Puns Jokes

A: A ferrous wheel.

Q: What’s wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?

A: its CoRnY

My dear, You called me a cool person

This rock was Magma before it was cool

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

A: OH SNaP!

Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her Earth Science exam?

A: Fear of utility bills.

What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?

BaNaNa!

Why shouldn’t you lend geologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be recent…..

Teacher: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?

Student: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

Q: Why do Geologists go to Lollapalooza?

A: To get their “Rock” On.

Good Gambling Puns Memes

Q: What did the Psychologist tell the geologist?

A: “Every decline is a great Break Through”

Q: What happens when you look up geology jokes?

A: You know you’ve hit rock bottom!

Q: Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?

A: Because it was on shale.

Good Gambling Puns For People

Why wasn’t the geologist hungry?

He lost his apatite.

Why shouldn’t you lend geologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

Q: Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School?

A: He was a dirty layer!

Good Gambling Puns Clean

Teacher: What’s black, white, purple, yellow and blue in the rocks?

Student: Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.

Geology Teacher: Where do geologists like to relax?

Student: In a rocking chair

James: Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?

Nick: They know really “dirty” jokes.

Q: Did you know that geologists are athletic?

A: Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.